Allready

it's been a month since my dad has left for heaven. Amy my sister posted on her face book these words and i cant think of more better ones to say "The calendar tells me its been a month...my head reminds me its been a month......my heart is screaming that my head and the calendar is wrong.."  that pretty much sums it up.  I know hes gone but im still are we sure sure sure?? and were pretty sure  just yea ... last week i had a dream that had me my mom and dad in a strange room my dad had on some nice black slacks and his shirt was shinny white robe looking thing and his head and face where shinny and bright nice looking he was giving me of his best dad hugs and was saying "im ok everything will be fine and ill see you soon" i woke up feeling uneasy because my dad is still dead so i had to go to walmarts and then to Amy's house all the way there i cried  because its the same way dad was driving and as soon i got to the place it was my like my heart jumped and the pain had went away and i had stop crying it was freaky -_-!!!

    However i haven't been to church since last month its not that i didn't wanna go i did wanna go but i really didn't feel like seeing the worlds face yet so I've been hiding out in my house only for the sake of others because im so moody -_- So i went to church on Sunday i made it almost through the song service then they sang "The Great I Am" (ill post song after) i couldn't not cry my face off i tried not to but it spoke to me reminding me that no matter what happens GOD is in control of every little detail of our life and how great and powerful He really is and that i don't need to worry or stress out about my dad, he loved the Lord and i know where he is to day  and that i need to straighten up and stop being so depressed and move forward with the LORD if i want to see either one of them in my time of death.  i felt just about 100% better after that song...
... then the first thing Pastor Doug talks about was death (lol) i chuckled with pain inside because hellur its a life ending sentence lol were born to die or as he said from a song "were just breathing to death" makes perfect since his sermon made me happy..Johnathan loved David as his own soul that's a pretty strong love and Johnathan pretty much sacrificed his life for David, David told Johnathan that  he would be his right hand man and get everything he got. Sadly Johnathan was killed....David becomes king and later on he not forgetting his "soul mate" ask if anyone  is left in Saul's ' ,Jonathan's dad, family and i think how great is God for it to be Mephibosheth Jonathan's son!! He gets to eat at the kings table and live there. He is reaping what his dad sawn i bet Jonathan was jumping for joy to known this. what a great story yall should all read it 1 and 2 Samuel.
   My dad has done some pretty great things for people an i feel blessed to hear the story's people tell i get happy butterfly's in my heart im glad he was my dad!! I love ya dad!! 

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Also on another note... Tony had heart surgery a year ago and well sadly he has to have it again  because the valve is messed up -_- how crap is that!! Its very upsetting mom and him haven't a clue what to do next so please pray for them yall its a tough situation!!