heck of a day!! Zakariah almost got ran over 3 times!! Nehemiah threw a fit at Walmart over some stupid hot wheels I was so mad becuz he doesn't know wat the word NO means. My kids tested my patience today to the max and when we got home I spanked them and put em in their room till I made their dinner before church. somedays I can handle all their little games and loudness but today I didn't want no part of it still don't I'm glad they are warm and happily sleeping!!!
Owen got moved around at his job and he's been gone for 3 day!! sucks but tonite he came home to spend a few hours and take a lil nap before going back in at 130am boo oh well maybe he'll get the weekend off so we can hang out :)
I'm still looking for a job nothing is hiring. which really sucks I hate not working makes me crazy. grr
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
life's directions...
I know everything is predestined by God and i know it leaves some people especially my self with a lot of what ifs and why not questions about somethings that have happen and hasn't happen but I guess in the end it doesn't matter at all just as long as Jesus gets all the glory.
Today i was thinking about my friend Karim aka Alex... he was my second friend when i moved to Austin He showed me all over the austin we seen and did so much and had fun. I liked him so much i wanted to be with him 24/7 and forever as far as i was concerned but i was in a sticky situation that i didnt even tell him about sorta like a secret life he didnt even know about. some seriously bad things had happen that i got caught up in the moment and i had to leave i didnt have time to say goodbye to him except on a stupid text message and i was upset it had to be that way. I left to go to Kentucky where my mom was and we video chatted alot i missed him and i had to tell him the truth of why i left i was heart broken to tell him i was pregnant with Zakariah and i wanted so bad for zaki to his baby but i knew it was not the most heart breaking moment was for me to tell him and he said it was ok and that i should have told him what was really going he would have "saved me" from situation but i was afraid and didnt wanna lose him . So after months of not seeing him a year and half later almost 2 years if not a lil more We deiced to meet up in Dallas to hang out for a day or two. It was raining all weekend so we couldn't do much except eat some nasty mexican food and hang out and talk it was great it was like we hadn't missed anything like it was before blah blah blah. He also watched beavis and butt-head for the first time at the hotel haha. He asked me multiple times to move back to Austin but i couldn't becuz of what had happen i was afraid of running in to the wrong people. Alex hates long distance relationships so we wouldn't ever do that and i see why becuz they suck whats the point in them so i didnt blame him for not wanting to have one. I went to Austin again in 2010 i didnt get to see him i wanted to but the trip was HORRIBLE i left as fast as i could and i really regret not seeing him. So after that we talked a few time the phone calls and texts messages sort of stopped or it would be random here and there. And now i could only say i love him as a friend nothing like before everything once again in my life has changed for the better. I have the best bf in the world i wouldnt change him for anything or anyone. and as for Alex i havent a clue becuz i havent spoken to him in months i feel sad becuz its hard losing a dear friend it never easy to let go of the one you love but i just wanna know why did a relationship never work with him if it wasnt one thing it was another pulling me in a differnt direction. Why does God put people in our life like that? To teach us lessons? To teach us heartbreak? Im glad God put him in my life!! Th Lord gives The Lord takes away blessed be the name of the LORD! (Job 1-21)
Today i was thinking about my friend Karim aka Alex... he was my second friend when i moved to Austin He showed me all over the austin we seen and did so much and had fun. I liked him so much i wanted to be with him 24/7 and forever as far as i was concerned but i was in a sticky situation that i didnt even tell him about sorta like a secret life he didnt even know about. some seriously bad things had happen that i got caught up in the moment and i had to leave i didnt have time to say goodbye to him except on a stupid text message and i was upset it had to be that way. I left to go to Kentucky where my mom was and we video chatted alot i missed him and i had to tell him the truth of why i left i was heart broken to tell him i was pregnant with Zakariah and i wanted so bad for zaki to his baby but i knew it was not the most heart breaking moment was for me to tell him and he said it was ok and that i should have told him what was really going he would have "saved me" from situation but i was afraid and didnt wanna lose him . So after months of not seeing him a year and half later almost 2 years if not a lil more We deiced to meet up in Dallas to hang out for a day or two. It was raining all weekend so we couldn't do much except eat some nasty mexican food and hang out and talk it was great it was like we hadn't missed anything like it was before blah blah blah. He also watched beavis and butt-head for the first time at the hotel haha. He asked me multiple times to move back to Austin but i couldn't becuz of what had happen i was afraid of running in to the wrong people. Alex hates long distance relationships so we wouldn't ever do that and i see why becuz they suck whats the point in them so i didnt blame him for not wanting to have one. I went to Austin again in 2010 i didnt get to see him i wanted to but the trip was HORRIBLE i left as fast as i could and i really regret not seeing him. So after that we talked a few time the phone calls and texts messages sort of stopped or it would be random here and there. And now i could only say i love him as a friend nothing like before everything once again in my life has changed for the better. I have the best bf in the world i wouldnt change him for anything or anyone. and as for Alex i havent a clue becuz i havent spoken to him in months i feel sad becuz its hard losing a dear friend it never easy to let go of the one you love but i just wanna know why did a relationship never work with him if it wasnt one thing it was another pulling me in a differnt direction. Why does God put people in our life like that? To teach us lessons? To teach us heartbreak? Im glad God put him in my life!! Th Lord gives The Lord takes away blessed be the name of the LORD! (Job 1-21)
I hope it wont be
a long December.. hehe jk i dont care how long or short the month i was just thinking of a song that said longgg December. Anyways its all ready been a crazy month my darling little Nehemiah has gotten sick with some ear infection and some viral mouth and throat ulcers ugh :( my poor baby. Also some genius who probably shouldn't be driving backed into my car and broke the light and dented the fender a bit its a little up setting to me grr oh well imma get it fixed. So at church on sunday we had an interesting sermon from 2 Thessalonians talking bout slackers and trackers in the church lol. Paster Bill was like before you start calling out others you need to know what you are first hehe pretty interesting. I want to ask him tho what are you suppose to do with the slackers who have the shuv it you owe me type of attitude becuz i do know a few people who are like that oh man what to do with them is what i wanna know. Im so thankful for Owen right now hes truely a God sent gift in my life Thank You Jesus!!
My mom is outta town in Kentucky taken care of my grandparents they are sick :( my grandma made it out of the hospital alive so moms gotta care for her no one else is their to help her. Kinda sucks that my mom is away but its where she needs to be for now. ah well
Its late now i wanna sleep..
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