another weekend gone..

..a good weekend actually!! On Friday me and my boys including Owen we went to the race track with dad. im still upset that he sold his car :( the people who have now completely ruined the painting!!!!!! serves em right shouldn't have sold the car dad!!! oh  well dads gonna make the boys a car soon they will love that. I took a few pics of the boys playing on Toms car...

Owen and i had a nice conversation on Friday nite i know i make him crazy when iget in mode freak out but if he likes me as much as he says he does hell understand and try to help me work out the "freak out mode" but well see what happens!! So far its been pretty alright it can only get better right? i think haha who knows!

then on saturday i just hung out at home with my boys didnt do nothing much :) just chill i like those days to just chill and hang out!! On sunday i went to church then lunch with Owen and Zaki as Miah went to play with Lilly at Amys house. We also went to pick out Zaki's birthday cake he wants a Thomas the train one he loves that guy.Then we went by the splash pad to see how busy it was to get an idea for Sunday at Zakis bday party. His dad and maybe Sabreen are coming up from Austin for the weekend. Gunna be an interesting weekend i suppose. Then after running around we went and helped Amy move they finally got a house its really cute one too i wish i could afford my own house one day God willing if the rapture doesnt happen first i prefer rapture first then ill have the best place ever to live with Jesus!! 

 Im just ready for the boys to start school next month so i can get a differnt job!!Since im at work i suppose i should do some work. booi just wanna go to sleep right meow! >.<

since last friday..

not much has really happen. Just on Saturday at church we had some summer thing for the kids "under the big top with Jesus" or something i helped with registration it was easier then working with the 3 and 4 year olds i cant do that gets me crazzyyy a little bit but it still fun to hang out and help. didn't do much after that. Then i went to this hippy junk show different people selling there "junk" some was way to expensive  for the most part. but i  did buy a pretty little  set i got for 15$!! 

then i went to work and then had church Sunday morning then hung out at home like normal i guess i dont really remeber much lol. ah well. life goes on!!


on a different subject... I have decided that i know i cant control every little thing in my life and the more i try the more frustrated and worried i get and feel and the more i wanna freak out on everything. I cant do that i hate those feelings and i know it makes Owen crazy when im in mode freak out and i question him about everything so im letting it all go whatever happens happens so if our relationship is meant to be then it will work out if not then i pray God take him out of my life. I cant keep being frantic  its not worth it. but also i want relationship with him only not his ex's not my ex's i don't talk to any of  my ex's just Zakariah's dad becuz i have to i have his kid that's all we don't talk about my life becuz my life is not his business no more and i don't ask bout his becuz its not my business.Owen is a really nice guy to and has a big heart and will help anyone and i love that about him but there's other things that make me unsure about him and i know he thinks the same about me lol he always tells me im weird haha and i know i am way different then him and anyways idk..


..except i do know...


.. this life this world this countries are about to change.. all for the Glory of God there's so much Bible prophecy happening right now its amazing. God is great! Jesus is Lord and the Holy Spirit is amazing!! Lord dont let me forget that YOU are all i need in this life God and let Ur Holy Spirit teach me from Ur word and shake me when i put useless things before You  God. Amen.

maybe its true or not true...

...when somethings are left unsaid!? I  think  if you want problems or anything else resolved guess u better speak up. today seemed to bea good day hanging out with Owen and my kids all day long got all of owens new truck business taken care of i got a new cell phone and an amarillo number finally. So after runing  around town we had a yummie lunch and then we did a few more things and then went to go swiming. I was changing clothes in owens roomwhile he watched the boys and his work phone went off and it was his 1st ex wife calling for like the 15 time today...seriously i only knew it was her becuz her info is saved on his work phone...really..for wat? he dont work with her he doesnt have a life with not that i know of at least..maybe i shouldnt be overreacting so much but really!! i dont talk to any of my ex's except zaki's dad and thats like once a month and even he knows im dateing Owen now so hes not gunna bother me with nonsense. i feel like a crazy bout this. My one friend told me if i wanna move into the future with him ineed tolet go of my old past and just tust....id rather cry and walk away then dealwith any kinda problem im not good at it i dont know how to handle it with out being upset sure theres worse things to worry bout.


I got an iphone seems ok so for im updateiing the phone its gunna bout 85 hours and so i think im gunna go to sleep becuz my head hurts and im freezing

I so ..

was gunna post my testimony tonite but i didnt get a chance to and now im too tired.. i went to bible study it was on Daniel 3 it posed questions i didnt think bout before and future stuff interesting really i guess!! went to eatafterwords it was  ok food at cheddar's like i think the 2nd time i been there. i need sleep now ill write more tomorrow maybee if something interesting happens!!

allready...

....Thursday!! my my the time fly's  and the days go by fast :) hehe especially when you don't go to work opps i didn't go last nite oh well im soo over that job soo im looking for a new one there's gotta be one out there some where!! Church was interesting last night in Mark 5 the lil girl who died and the lady with blood issue for 12 years and the lil girl was 12 and soo ive come to 2 conclusions bout God ...He seems to like palm trees and the number12!! So im thinking since this is MY blog i should some where on here post my testimony at least...a few weeks ago i gave it at Called out  ,the young adults Bible study at church, I was so nervous and i kept repeating my self lol and i knew i left out some important detail so im gunna take the afternoon and write it up and then copy it over to here :) I love listening to how God has changed peoples life and i love that God has changed my life for the better Praise Jesus!!!

no work...

is nice to hear when i call to see if i was off work tonight :) 5 days nice relaxing. I have like 115 hours of paid time off i need to use before February  or i lose it and my supervisor does not like letting us off of work even if we have the hours boo for her...
...today i took the boys and Lilly swimming it was fun but soo cold.


i feel something strange today i cant exactly explain maybe...becuz on the inside freaking out about some stuff and im suppressing the all the feelings and irrational thoughts screaming in my head. OH LORD please dont let this be a sleepless night lost in useless thoughts.

Dallas Trip!!

Friday the 13th day of July 2012...lol
So on Friday morning we left the church and Amarillo around 9am i was running late haha normal for me i suppose....we had a good trip there... Then when we got there we went to the wrong hotel at first it was nice one then we go to the right hotel it was a little scary some fat old man with no shirt tried hitting on Ashley then there was a lady with a burqa haha and our room was nice until the sheets had freaky stain and hair on it we got clean ones. the guys room smelled like a week's worth of dirty socks! Better them then us. We went swimming at Ashley's brother apartment....we tried teaching Ash how to swimming or even just float lol she cant :(we dont know why that was fun tho floating around the pool and there was the cutest little baby. Then we went to go eat some Indian food it was good i ended up paying for Krystal becuz she forgot her money it was expensive food but it was so yummie you can never go wrong with Indian food 
Then we went swimming at the hotel with the boys :\ the dunked us boo for them lol it was fun tho we talked the indian guy worken at the hotel to keep the pool open longer then it was suppose to be haha which was cool the hot tub wasn't very hot but the jet thingy's on my back felt awesome!! Then we crashed becuz we were so tired. 


Saturday the 14th day of July 2012....lol

we woke up and went to the Bass pro shop with the guys....it was ok once u seen one you've seen them all i think hahaha the only cool thing bout this one was there was a lake behind it and we meaning me Caitlin and Krystal we went out back and walked around on the boat dock thing an i chased some ducks and there was baby ducks in the water floating behind its mamma it was really cute and fun but  HOTTTTTTTTT so we sweatishly went back inside the store to find the boys.  So we made some plans they went to some store and we went to go see my old friend Rikki!! i missed her a lot it was good to see her and her kids. Its good to see old friends sometimes!! Then we skipped lunched and met the guys back at the hotel and Ashley so we could go see the Dead Sea Scrolls (  http://www.facebook.com/SeeTheScrolls) !! They are soo cool plus we seen different old artifacts from Yisrael around the dead sea area soo interesting. Then we went to the   Galleria  a giant mall in Dallas some of the guys ice skated and us girls just walked around looking i bought some silver flipflops becuz mine broke on thursday boo. They were cheaper in Dallas anyways!! Then after the mall we went to eat at Taco bell i thought we were gunna get robbed lol kinda scary in there hahaha but the best part was when we went back to the "roach motel hostel"...i got a key to the boys room from the lady at the front desk and we ransacked the boys room hahahahahaah we tore the blankets off the bed turned on all the lights and the tv took the phone off hook set up the iron bored and put there tooth brushes on it and other things man it was so funny so we cracked there door open a lil bit and hid in the bathroom for what like seemed FOREVERRR they finally came and it was soo funny to us them not so much i could hear Thomas saying " why would they set up the iron board and put our stuff on it and even take the phone off the hook who did this" LOL while we were in the bathroom laughen they heard us and they got quit and was like someones in there so we came out and they didnt find it funny at all man we laughed so hard our stomachs hurt they were like whose gunna make the bed :\ hellur!! we will but still no laughing moments with there we laughed all nite and the day bout it even now were still laughen hahaha. 

Sunday the 15th of July 2012....lol

umm the boys didnt knock on our door or window we figured they were still mad bout their room so after we got dressed and up loaded up the cars we went to eat some free breakfast and check out and zoom off to Church at Gateway Church ( Gateway Church (gatewaypeople.com).) that place was HUGE and really cool the music was ok the guy preaching was funny i dont remember his name tho but he preached over Ruth i like Ruth :) but personally lol if i was doing the series they were i think i would have picked Ester hehe but its all good!! ill go back to that church if i visit Dallas again. Then we left to go home till Treys trailer tired exploded in our faces almost and we had to fix that and we eat lunch and hung out a lil bit then we came home. it was nice to be home my baby's missed me i missed them too!! :) 

Owen came to see me too i missed him also! hes soo sweet person really and has a big heart <3 I appreciate everything he does for me and my family.

:::frustrated:::

...alot today!! my moms husband Tony is a great guy i really like him they are good for each other!! but he has a big problem he needs to deal with it and never does he blows it off...its his son!! quintin a spoiled brat who needs to beat with the metal part of the belt Tony believes all his lies and his drama he cause's between him and mom is craaazy. quintin almost got a beat down today i for the sake of Tony walked away but next time he hits one of my kids again im just gunna break his hands i dont care what any one says my kids are 5 and 2 and hes 15 although he acts like hes a terrible 2 year old he disrespects everyone and acts like we owe him something. even his own mom doesn't wanna deal that's why he lives with Tony but really i think Tony should put him at boys ranch it might do him some good if not hes gunna end up in juvenal jail becuz hes bad kid.

Anyways i finally got car insurance to expensive grr at least  its under 200$!! thx God!! on Friday me and some of the Called out peeps are going to Dallas gunna be super fun!!! Gunna see the Dead sea Scrolls and do watever fun things i guess hahaha gotta get ready for church write more later!!

..dayz go by.

I took my dr's note to my supervisor i was a bit nervous becuz i knew she was mad at me for calling in but i was sick!! So it was little tense when i took her the note she her normal  snooty attitude and she tore open the envelope and read the dr's note like and then was like i guess ill be back on the schedule for Saturday hmm ok thanks... but seriously she could have had less attitude most of the supervisors up there get mad at any little pointless thing...oh well they will get over it!!

we went swimming today it was fun i love it but the most funny part was when zaki wiped out his little pee and started peeing in the pool LOL he had to go i guess ppl cleared the pool pretty fast hahaha it was funny!! Owen Amy Kelly and Lilly came out to swim to it was fun :)

After words we went at Red lobster yummie. Good day it was !! Praise Jesus

summer time sickness..

...really!! crazy! Nehemiah had strep throat and now me! Monday nite at work i felt terrible i was sweating but yet freezing i turned the fan off but then i got hot and i was cold miserable but at least i still got work done...tuesday morning i got home and crashed the boys woke me up i felt like i hit  a brick wall i couldn't breathe  my temp was up and ugh soo i got some medicine called in to late for work my supervisor is probably still pissed me at cuz i had to miss 2  days of work  but oh well i already slack enough at work i don't need her or my other coworkers talking any more crap on me..oh well i cant help it its life!!

everything else going pretty good this summer i really hope zaki gets to go to school downtown  that would be great for me to get a job with normal hours while the kids schooled.

Owen is  such a super guy he works his butt off at my job hes always worried and has me callen my dad up to see if hes doing a good job and blah blah but i think now he under stands when i say if my dad has a problem ur gunna know bout it lol cuz hes gunna call you for it not just dance around the idea..im alot like my dad like that... ill call you when needed its better that way!

>.< sleepingg timeee