Thursday, February 26, 2015

barley breathing

barley=only just...almost not 

almost not ...  i love this definition because its how the last month has been for me. a mess.

my heart hurts to night like a bad pain that my hardest sobs and gasps for air cant even compare to. the pain is screaming i miss my dad i need him right now i need his best dad hug i need his stern "listen kid im gonna kick your butt if you dont stop...(insert the newest mess i've gotten myself into for the week) 

i feel a million miles away from God...its ugly out here to much pain to bear really.. my friend say me "fake it till you make it" soo im taking that advice im pounding my head with all the verses that i know by memory listen to every song that praises God....i opened my bible on sunday at church its the first time in a while...i think the words were dancing with joy on the page at least my heart felt "at home"

so friends please keep me in your prayers because im almost not praying at all. 
thanks

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Keep your heart open.. our flesh is week ..but our spirit is stronger. .thats what keeps us connected with Jesus no matter how we push or become involved with this ugly world. Just remember Jesus is always listening when we cry when we mess up ..no matter how bad he is there. I know at times we feel alone in our trials but we arent..trials are there for us to Go to God..you can get thru girlie listen to his words.. use the strength you inherited from your Dad. I know it hurts and you miss him dearly. Know hes alright now ..Even though he left too soon God had a reason. Maybe to teach you to stand tall and make your way in this world.And lean on him. Yes parents are there for advice etc. But you know God wants us to come to him..

Amber said...

thanks for the encouragement!!