Sometimes i feel...

like a broken record on repeat when it comes to life and especially with my boys. Always same thing and just more frustration everyday. So i packed up some stuff on Thursday and i left Friday afternoon i checked the boys out of school and left Amarillo. I drove to Dallas spent the night and spent the day with my cousin and her kids it was nice to see them we had some fun!! Then i drove to Houston and i checked my boys into a new school and im looking for a house!

....... Why not!?

 We have one life to live and i dont wanna live it in amarillo because it sucks there!!! 

My dads birthday was on saturday and i tried all day not to think about it but everything i seen remind me of him he used to carry a giant mug to drink from and i seen them at every gas station -_- then driving to Houston i seen 3 sprint cars!!! lol i was like ok Fine dad i wont forget i cant forget i just cant call you and tell you so i just whispered happy first birthday in heaven dad! 

well nothing much else is happening just looking for a house im staying with my cousin at her house shes a trip were alot a like including our looks its kinda freaky LoL but cool ! Im gunna go to Galveston island and walk around look for a job or something fun.

trying to find a new normal

So since last Saturday till last night I had a hell of a week every little thing that happen I was thinking man I gotta call dad and tell him this  52 days he's been gone it's become a little easy to laugh but the sting of death still hurts.
I had a really bad day yesterday with the boys they haven't listened all week and they wouldn't clean up there toys so i finally went off they got showers after dinner and spankings a good talking to they happily went to bed after the COPS left!! yes the cops because i go into my room and see a freaking possum!!!! i called my uncle Doug and tell him to run his big butt over to my house cuz theres a crazy wild animal in my house!!! So he arrived and  he was like hahaha no call the county and get some experts here LOL i swear they sent the two most wimpiest cops LOL they were screaming and jumping around like girls LOL it was so funny, me and my uncle were standing at the end of hall and were like waiting for them to come so we can open the door my stupid cat come running the down the hall we both jumped a mile high!! it was good laugh xD although idk how this freaky animal came in my house!! yuck!! Today we were laughing about it at my grandmas thinking about how hard dad would have been laughing :) its good to laugh and be happy with my family even the thought of dad gone SUCKS but i know hes ok so i gotta get my head together and get this life rolling no more sleeping till the boys get outta school -<(*_*)> anywho i gotta get the boys some dinner and we gunna watch a movie before bed time!! 

People are ...

just people and i sometimes forget how not nice we are.  We begged my dads wife not to delete his facebook she didnt even listen to us she just told us well its not ur choice its mine she didnt even think of my grandparents facebook might be nothing to her but its where dad communicated from he'd leave nice notes and photos and although we did make him tribute page its not the same his comments are gone from his page our photos everywhere shes such a turd!! its nicest word i can use with out being ugly. 
   She brought all 3 of his guitars to my grandparents house im glad i was there grandpa gave me all 3 i just wanted 1 but ill take all 3 i gave Amy 2 because a few years back he gave me a red one. She also brought a cd from his rosary ill try to get it uploaded some how on here idk how but ill figure it out its a good video has 2 venture songs which was one of his favorite groups and Los  Lonely boys how far is heaven.

I was talking with Peter yesterday he always seems to have good advice lol esp with my kids lol cuz i kinna went nuts and yelled and i had the phone in my face lol  -_- opps sorryy sweets for yelling in yo face!  Anywho he gave me some ideas on how to handle Nehemiah and his freak outs. ill give it a try! Zaki is loving school Miah not so much he wants to be home schooled i dont think so!! We have open house tonite and then breakfast for dinner at Rissa's house!! blog mo' later!! 

On monday...

morning i left to go to Amys house and my tire just fell apart it was weird this nice trucker guy stopped and fixed it for me thank God i was like oh dang whom im gunna call my dad is in heaven so i called my grandpa

but the guy stopped and help so yea. i thought it was gunna be a bad day but it really wasnt!! Art and i actually went to our friends house from church for lunch and we played mexican train sorta like dominoes it was so fun and nice to fellowship with good people!! then one of my favorite person Peter called its always great to talk to him i love that guy!! Im so ready for a change idk i feel something good is going to happen soon -_- idk when i just feel it... anyways i found this nice thing for my dad ill share it so not much to say just getting this stuff off my chest... 

somedays

i think i have no idea what to think brain dead a bit i feel like it blah we went to dads grave site yesterday left a few things its first time i been since we took the kids.. honestly i don't like going it feels empty and only makes me sad there

i just have dad in my memory's and tons of great photos!! This nice lady from church brought us a frozen lasagna for dinner it was good im happy she did that!!

We didn't go to church tonight as we are going in the morning i like switching it up sometimes and i think Nehemiah wanted to go to 2nd service because one of his friends and his mom help in his class and he likes that so well prolly go at that time.

Im so ready to move to Houston today! but i cant till next month grr i just wanna get up and go and try to make a new normal -_- i feel something good is going to happen there anyways!! Praise Jesus well im gunna go my mind is empty will post again... 

with love friends.. 

Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalms 19:14

יִהְיוּ לְרָצוֹן אִמְרֵי-פִי, וְהֶגְיוֹן לִבִּי    לְפָנֶיךָ:
יְהוָה,    צוּרִי וְגֹאֲלִי.

Church was..

...really cool last night!! It was Genesis 5  if yall haven't read it YALL need too! But you need to pull out a Hebrew lexicon ( i have one you can barrow LoL ) and do the name game! all the names in that chapter mean something so great  you'll be amazed! Don't think im going to tell you because im not its something you should look it up  on your own its too good i don't wanna ruin it for you once you understand it!! But speaking of church i take notes all the time and in my book there's about 10 or so pages that the ink has disappeared!!! you can still see it but not enough to read it!! so weird and i don't even know what pen i used! freaky stuff right there!! 

Tony had surgery again today on his heart they replaced the mechanism device thingy again it broke -_- poor guy id hate to have that done. But thanks God everything went well were still praying for him tho. 

Im pretty sure im moving to Houston next month not exactly in Houston but a surrounding area there for sure! im excited as are the boys because they wanna live by the beach and hey why not! we have one life to live so might as well make it fun. 

last night at church i had a vision during worship and i grabbed my book and just starting writing the vision in words it makes sense to me since all the dramic things that have been going on ...so its below as im super nervous to share but its for me so yea...

Lord I feel you tugging on my soul (its a hurt i long for) knowing you'll never let me go God help me to hear you and help me to give you all of me,my worry my pain everything that's screaming in my brain If i can only trust You  and I  know You'll  make it all ok  Lord help me just say Your name JESUS!!! 

 28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”Matthew 11:28-30

Michael W. Smith - The One That Really Matters (Live) ft. Kari Jobe